let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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