Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
