Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
