I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
