Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
