saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
barbara walters just said penis...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
