I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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