The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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