Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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