I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
