the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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