So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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