I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
we're so committed to being not committed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
