you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
