You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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