what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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