how can u be prego again
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
