Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
