I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
