so explain again why im purple
no
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
