Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
