quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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