apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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