I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
