i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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