WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
