North Korea, Best Korea!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
