Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
