I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
