Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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