But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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