doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize
