The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
