I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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