Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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