Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
