He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
