I hope mine doesn't look like that
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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