I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
