I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
