why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
