Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
