wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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