Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
