Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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