I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
