found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Floor bacon is actually really good
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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