I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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