So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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