just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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