what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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